Comforting hugs 34

"...This I recall in my mind therefore I have hope...It is of the the Lord's mercies...they are new every morning...therefore I will hope in him'  (Lam. 3:21-24).

For me, knowing that each morning brings a new chance to start over again, have given me hope in the new day and future. I leaned on this hope each time I would miscarry a baby, went through a divorce,  loss custody of my only living child to his Father, and so much more. When my grief was so deep I couldn't see the morning in my heart, I leaned on knowing that God's mercies was offered to me each morning. All I had to do was cry out to him and ask for it. Then in his love, he gave me his mercy. What did that look like? You may ask. 

Each day, God would take my hand and lead me through my dark hours of each day. His spirit gave me the strength to do so when I couldn't do it in my own power. When my strength was so weak that I didn't know if I could keep holding on. All I had to do was cry out to him &  he would  hold onto mine very tightly. He never let go of it. With God's help, I begin to find my new normal. My motto back then was, " little by little, bit by bit, I will get there yet." In time, I was able to walk out of my darkness into the light of each day. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it was easy, or fast. It wasn't. But with God's help, it was possible. 

Now God is no respecter of people, what he has done for me, he can do for you. Just reach your hand up to God and cry, "Lord, I need help!" And he will be there to hold onto your hand, and lead you out of your deep dark valley of grief unto the light again. He is waiting...

Comforting hugs!

Chaplain Toni

Comforting hugs 33

 ...Here is one thing that I do. I forget what is behind me. I push hard towards what is ahead" (Phil. 3:13 NIRV).

When we have known loss, whither it be loss of job, health, relationship,  living situation, or a loved one. We often find ourselves stuck in neutral and don't know how to move forward. This is natural & is OK for a time. But it is not healthy to be there for the rest of your life. There comes a time when you realize that the world is moving on with out you and you need to get back on track. But how?

It is a two step road.

Step 1. Forget the past. 

 When your past has such a hold on you that you are stuck there, you will need to forget the past. Does this mean that you totally forget the lessons that you learned back there, or your loved one? No. You just need to allow yourself let go of the past to the point that it doesn't hold you prisoner anymore.Why? Because if you don't you will be forever a prisoner stuck where you are now.  

Step 2. You need to make goals for the future and start taking steps towards them. 

This is not an easy step for sure. But it is the only way you will get back into life.These steps need not be big one. They can be as small as getting up this morning, getting yourself cleaned up and dressed like you have somewhere important to go, even if you don't. Or go out and do something that you one loved to do, before that loss happened. Or even learn a new skill that you have found that you need now. No matter what it is, choose to take a step into your new life, and keep doing it until you get to your goal and find your new normal.

I had to do this when my first husband left me for another woman. I wanted to go to a corner, get into a ball and die. But I had a son that needed me. So I took the hard steps of getting a job, and learned how to pay my bills. When my ex-husband got custody of our son, again, I wanted to craw into that corner and die. But, I didn't. I just kept putting one small step in front of another, until I found my new normal. I have always said that I felt as though I had been cut into 1, 000's of pieces. I tried to put them back together my myself. But as I did. someone else cut those pieces into 1, 000's more, until I felt like hamburger inside & my life was as ashes. It wasn't until I gave those ashes to Jesus that I could heal. When I did that, he took the ashes that was my life and used it as compost and had a new life grow out of it. Then when my 2ed hubby and I went to adopt a baby girl with beautiful brown eyes, and she died before we could do so. Again, I had to had my love and loss to Jesus. What came out of that loss is a wonderful ministry that has helped many people who feel like a throw away. And I have a rich and full life that I love!

God can do that for you too, if you will take your broken pieces of your life and give them to him. Only he has the power to make something new out of the ashes. Only he can help you find your new normal. Won't you do so today? He is waiting with loving arms to do just that.

Comforting hugs!

Cahplain Toni

Comforting hugs 32

"Love never ends" (1 Cor. 13:8a).

One of the hardest things to deal with, is the fact that our love for someone doesn't end when someone we love is gone. They are gone, but our heart has all this love still in it wanting to pour out on to someone. What are we to do with all this love? This is the question that I faced when our little Vannie died. 

People deal with it in different ways. Some try holding that love in, because the person that they had poured their love out on is not there anymore. But when you do that your heart will do one of two things. Either become like a bad infected boil that gets worse with time, or become hard. Either way is not a good thing. But what can I do with my love? I hear you asking. I believe that a healthy way to deal with this is to reach out to someone else in the world who needs that love. This is what I did with the love I had for Vannie. 

You see, since Vannie death 15 years ago, I have poured my love into a ministry that is named after her. The Vannie Project. That ministry has provided Books, Bibles, plants, seeds, blankets, toys, mats and pillows for the homeless, and supported orphans. Being able to pour my love on the least of these has given me much joy over the years. 

A friend of mine has found a couple of ways to celebrate her son's life. They are to make mats, pillows, and blankets for the homeless, as well as, taking all the pennies she finds on the ground and giving them to a charity that helps the homeless. 

You too can do something to remember your loved one that will give you someone or somewhere to pour all that love you have where it is so needed. All you have to do, is figure out what you want to do. Then you can happily let your love pour out! Have fun doing so!

Comforting hugs!

Chaplain Toni

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" I am bent over. I've been brought very low. All day long I go around sobbing. My back is filled with burning pain. My whole body is sick. I am weak. I feel as though I have been broken in pieces. I groan because of the great pain in my heart" (Ps. 38:6-8).

It is a known fact that those who grieve are more open to illnesses. Why? When we are grieving, our bodies abilities to fight off illnesses is lowered. In fact, it has even been known to attack itself in such situations, partly because we wish that we could die, and our bodies can follow our will, by getting ill. This is why it is important that we reach out to the one who can help us find hope again ~Jesus. For when we find hope and purpose in life again, we want to live, and our bodies will follow our will.

If you find yourself in this type of situation, please, reach out to God, and others for help to find hope and purpose in life again. In this way, you can go from walking in the valley of the shadow of death, to dwell in abundant life again. 

Comforting hugs!

Chaplain Toni

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"I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another comforter, that he may abide with you forever...I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you"(John 14:16,18).

This is what Jesus told those who followed him before he left to go back to heaven.

You see they were fearful of being left without him. We too often fear being left alone. Jesus wants us to know that we do not have to be alone and comforted. We can have the comforter come to us and comfort us when we most need it. That Comforter is God the Holy Spirit. Call to Him when you need him. He awaits to spend time with you, and giving comfort to your mind, heart and soul.

Comforting hugs!

Chaplain Toni