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"And now, dear brothers, I want you to know what happens to a Christian when he dies so that when it happens, you will not be full of sorrow, as those who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and then came back to life again, we can also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him all the Christians who have died" (1Thes. 4:13 & 14).

Many people I know has no idea that I have lived a lift with family and friends dying around me all my life. But it is true. My Mother's Father was one of 12 children.  When he and his sisters and brothers started dying , they died in groups of 3 or more. Then their spouses and some times their children have died over the years. And that is just one family. Then there is the other branches of the family as well as friends and my husband's family. Why, I recall once walking into a funeral home to one cousin's viewing and was told that his brother in law had died and was in the room next to him. 

I can hear the question now. How do you stay sane and function? Well, my faith has always comforted me. For I could turn to The Holy Bible to verses like the ones above. These verses reassures me of a life after this one where I will someday see my loved ones. You see most of my family has been Christians. My Mom's Dad was a pastor, one of his brother's was one also. Then there were many others who also had accepted Jesus as their Savior. So I have that hope that the verses speak of. That is why I can get up each morning with a smile on my face and walk through each day with joy.  

You can have that hope also. If you accept Jesus as your Savior, you too can have the hope of a great life in heaven afterward this life. Won't you come to Jesus today asking him to forgive you of all your wrongs, and ask him to be your Savior? If you do that, he will give you the ticket to heaven that he paid for on that cross. And the trip there that he paved when he also rose from the dead. 

Comforting hugs,

Chaplain Toni

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"Save me, O my God. The floods have risen. Deeper and deeper I sink in the mire; the waters rise around me. I have weep until I am exhausted; my throat is dry and horse; my eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to act...But I keep right on praying to you, Lord. For now is the time- you are bending down to hear! You are ready with a plentiful supply of love and kindness. Now answer my prayer and rescue me as you promised. Pull me out of this mire. Don't let me sink in. Rescue me ...from these deep waters I am in" (Ps. 69:1-3, 13-14).

Many times when we are in the valley of grief, we feel like we are downing in our grief. It is very exhausting. Why? Because grief affects you on every level of your being, Sometime we can get caught in that valley and feel like we are stuck in grief as one would be stuck in the mire or mud. Then we ask ourselves how am I going to get out of this phase of my grief?  These verses give us the answer. Cry out to Jesus and keep doing so until he has helped you out of it. He is the only one who can get you out when you are stuck in a phase of your grief. Cry to Jesus and live again. 

Comforting hugs,

Chaplain Toni

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"He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad.

He has sent me to the sorrowing...

I will give them the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow. 

I will give them clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness."

                                                                 (Is. 61:2-3)

God never meant for us to forever be in mourning. He wants to replace our sorrow with gladness. But  It will not happen if we do not let God and those he has sent to comfort us, to comfort us. I know that it is human nature to want to push everyone away from us when we are deeply hurting from the pain of sorrow. But if we forever do that, we will never find our way out of the valley of grief. Why? Because we haven't allowed God or anyone else to pour the oil of gladness on us. 

Let me explain. Oil in the Bible was a symbol of healing and health. It is also a symbol of God's Holy Spirit. Sorrow and grief are wounds to our minds, emostions, and spirits. God's Spirit and love is the only thing that can heal our deepest wounds. When we allow him and his people to pour God's love on us, it is like pouring healing oil onto an open wound. Only then can we heal & wear the clothes of praise.

So please allow God and His people to wrap their arms around you and help you to heal and find gladness in your life. 

Comforting hugs,

Chaplain Toni

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"David and his men came to the city, and behold it was burned with fire: and their wives, and their sons, ans their daughters were taken captives. Then David and the people raised up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep."                                                                                              (I Sam. 30:3 & 4)

There is another reason that we mourn. That is the loss of a person in our lives other than death. This can be due to a breakup in a relationship. One way it could happen is the end of a relationship or a divorce. They say for each year you were with someone it may take 3-5 years to get over it. The closer you were to the person, the longer it could take to recover and move on. Another way it could happen is when you loose custody of your child or children. Or have your children leave home due to school, marriage or just out on their own. Both of these types of losses can make you feel as though you have lose an arm, leg, and had your heart ripped out. 

You ask yourself, "How can I go on if I am not all here?" But go on you must do. It is not easy, I know but with God's help it is possible. You may also wonder " If I am not so and so's man, woman, husband, wife, or actively so and so's parent, who am I now?" Finding the answer(s) to your question(s) is the first step in moving forward in your life. So sit down and figure this out. Once you figure out who you are and where you want to go from here. You will need to figure out what steps you need to take to get to your new normal. 

If you have always had your identity wrapped up in that person and can't figure out where you are now. Stop, and think back to before that relationship. maybe all the way back to when you were young. Who did you want to be? What did you dream of doing? This is the best time to start fulfilling those long lost dreams. That is what I did! After my son graduated and left home, I started to take the steps towards my dream of becoming an author. And today, you hold the fulfillment of that dream in your hands. So you see, it IS possible.

But what helped me to get past my divorce and my son's graduating and leaving home was that I knew that I was never truly alone. I always had God the Father, God the Son(Jesus) and God the Holy spirit with me. That knowledge always helped me have the courage to get through each day as I took the steps into my new normal life. And God can help you do the same, if you let him. 

Comforting hugs!

Toni

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"Jesus' Mother and brothers came and stood outside. They sent someone in to get him. A crowd was sitting around Jesus. They told him, "Your Mother and your brothers are outside. They are looking for you."
"Who is my Mother? Who are my brothers? he asked.
Then Jesus looked at the people sitting in a circle around him. He said, 'Here is my Mother! Here is my brothers! Anyone who does what God wants is my brother or sister or mother' "(Mark 3:31-35).


Sometimes we find that our family has left us alone, for different reasons such as a disagreement on your lifestyle or death. In these times, we often find family in the people that we hang out with. Jesus understood this. In these verses, he speaks of it.

Jesus also understands when someone in the family that we build around us, dies. He wants to be there during your time of grief and pain. He wants to give you those hugs and words of encouragement that you need. He wants to become part of your family too. But he will not force himself on you. He respects you too much to do that. You will have to go to him and ask for it. He waits outside for your replay. Won't you invite him in today?

Comforting hugs!
Chaplain Toni