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"David and his men came to the city, and behold it was burned with fire: and their wives, and their sons, ans their daughters were taken captives. Then David and the people raised up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep."                                                                                              (I Sam. 30:3 & 4)

There is another reason that we mourn. That is the loss of a person in our lives other than death. This can be due to a breakup in a relationship. One way it could happen is the end of a relationship or a divorce. They say for each year you were with someone it may take 3-5 years to get over it. The closer you were to the person, the longer it could take to recover and move on. Another way it could happen is when you loose custody of your child or children. Or have your children leave home due to school, marriage or just out on their own. Both of these types of losses can make you feel as though you have lose an arm, leg, and had your heart ripped out. 

You ask yourself, "How can I go on if I am not all here?" But go on you must do. It is not easy, I know but with God's help it is possible. You may also wonder " If I am not so and so's man, woman, husband, wife, or actively so and so's parent, who am I now?" Finding the answer(s) to your question(s) is the first step in moving forward in your life. So sit down and figure this out. Once you figure out who you are and where you want to go from here. You will need to figure out what steps you need to take to get to your new normal. 

If you have always had your identity wrapped up in that person and can't figure out where you are now. Stop, and think back to before that relationship. maybe all the way back to when you were young. Who did you want to be? What did you dream of doing? This is the best time to start fulfilling those long lost dreams. That is what I did! After my son graduated and left home, I started to take the steps towards my dream of becoming an author. And today, you hold the fulfillment of that dream in your hands. So you see, it IS possible.

But what helped me to get past my divorce and my son's graduating and leaving home was that I knew that I was never truly alone. I always had God the Father, God the Son(Jesus) and God the Holy spirit with me. That knowledge always helped me have the courage to get through each day as I took the steps into my new normal life. And God can help you do the same, if you let him. 

Comforting hugs!

Toni

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"Jesus' Mother and brothers came and stood outside. They sent someone in to get him. A crowd was sitting around Jesus. They told him, "Your Mother and your brothers are outside. They are looking for you."
"Who is my Mother? Who are my brothers? he asked.
Then Jesus looked at the people sitting in a circle around him. He said, 'Here is my Mother! Here is my brothers! Anyone who does what God wants is my brother or sister or mother' "(Mark 3:31-35).


Sometimes we find that our family has left us alone, for different reasons such as a disagreement on your lifestyle or death. In these times, we often find family in the people that we hang out with. Jesus understood this. In these verses, he speaks of it.

Jesus also understands when someone in the family that we build around us, dies. He wants to be there during your time of grief and pain. He wants to give you those hugs and words of encouragement that you need. He wants to become part of your family too. But he will not force himself on you. He respects you too much to do that. You will have to go to him and ask for it. He waits outside for your replay. Won't you invite him in today?

Comforting hugs!
Chaplain Toni

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"Behold, I do a new thing: now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert" (Is. 43:19). 

When we go through a bad time in our life such as when we loose a job, a relationship, our health or even loose someone through death, we feel as though we are in a wilderness or desert. While we are there we long for the comfort of what we had before. We may even feel as though our life had dried up and we thirst for meaning again in our lives. 

People say things like, "Get over it" or "move on" or even "get back to normal". But let's be honest. You cannot go back to your old normal, for that which was in your life (a job, relationship, health, or loved) is gone. This has left a big hole where it or whom was in it before.  So you must find a new normal in your life. 

It is not always an easy task to find that new normal, for you often will have to redefine what your normal is. This means that you may have to recreate what you want in your life. Maybe even recreate who you are now. For you may be a nurse or whatever your job was. In an end of a relationship. You may not be so and so's wife or woman, man or husband; or even friend anymore. . You may have an illness that will change a lot in your life, wither it be for a time or forever. OR the death of someone maybe totally changing a lot in your life. Whatever the reason, your life has lost it's old normal and you need a new one. 

How does one find that new normal? You may ask. Well, stop. Stand still. And pray asking God for guidance. He knows what your future should look like. Then sit down and write out a list of what has changed and what steps you need to take to move into your new normal. Start with what has to be handled immediately such as funeral arrangements if a loved one has died. Or if it is a loss of job, figure out how much money you have and food that is in the house. Figure out how far can these take you?  If it is a lost relationship, you may need to find a new place to live. This list will be different for each person and situation.

Once the immediate needs are taken care of, sit down and figure out who you want to be in the future. You can do this by asking yourself questions such as...What did I enjoy doing before so and so was in my life? What did I dream of being before I had this job? What don't I like in my life? How can I change it? These questions can be what will help you move from your desert to your new  life. When you have the answers, then write down the steps that you need to take to move into your new life.

 If you don't know what steps you should take, find someone who can help you figure that out. Such as a life coach. lawer, doctor, a place that can tell you what you need to do to find a new job, and the list goes on.

I know that this can be scary. I've been there a few times in my life. But these steps helped me to be able to move forward in my life. And I can tell you that there can be a good life after your old one. In fact, I have been able to fulfill dormant dreams in my new life. I pray that you do too.

Comforting hugs!

Chaplain Toni

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Lazarus is dead...Jesus saw her crying...Jesus sobbed" (John 11, 23, 35 NIRV).

If you want the whole story here you need to read John chapter 11 verses 11 through 44. But to save time here I will give it to you in a nut shell. A dear friend of Jesus' named Lazarus, has died. Jesus goes to raise Lazarus from the dead. But when he gets there he tries to comfort Lazarus' sisters, Mary and Martha. 

 when Jesus sees their tears, he cries with them, even though he knows that he is about to raise Lazarus from the dead.

To me, this shows how Jesus cares about our grief when a family member of ours dies. He IS touched by our grief, and he cries with us. Even though he knows that there is life after death, as he speaks of in verses 23 and 25. And he longs to comfort us in our time of grief. But we have to allow him to do so. If you are grieving for a brother, sister, Uncle, Aunt or some other family member today, Jesus wants to hold, cry with you, and comfort you today. Will you let him? 

Comforting hugs,

Chaplain Toni

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"Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice:have mercy also unto me, and answer me...When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up."                                                                                           Ps. 27:7,10 This is the month that we celebrate Father's Day. Like other holidays it can be a sad day for some. One group of people that it is sad for, are those whose Father was never there for them. That is whom I wish to talk to today. There probably no greater pain than having a parent abandoned you. I noticed that the pain of it doesn't go away when you become an adult. Why? I believe that it is woven into our DNA to have the need of the approval of the ones who made us. Unfortunately, some people for one reason or other are not able to shoulder that responsibility, so they don't. No matter the reason, it hurts just the same. Children of ask themselves what was wrong with them that made a parent not want to love and care for them. Please realize that often it is not you, but something within them that made you live without them in your life. God knows and understands this need in you. He loves you, and wants to be that Father to you. As the verse says, he wants to "take you up". That means that he wants to pick you up, and hold you as a Father does a child. But he will not force himself on you. You have to go to him and ask him to be your father.You can go to him and ask him to do that now, then you can spend time with him on Father's Day. I know that it is possible, because I have done it. One Father's day when I lived in a different state than my Father and had no way to get to him. After talking to my Father on the phone, I went to a church that I cleaned, slipped in and spent the day with God the Father. You can do so too. But you don't have to be in a church to do it, for God the Father is everywhere.  I pray that this information will help you have a great Father's Day with God the Father this year. Comforting hugs, Chaplain Toni Click here to Reply or Forward 0.76 GB (5%) of 15 GB used Manage Terms - Privacy Last account activity: 26 minutes ago Details

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There was a man who was a father to many children and like a father to many others. I was not blessed to get to know him very well, as I only meet him a couple of times just before he died. But I know that this father went to live in heaven with the Heavenly Father when he died. How do I know this? Because a man who was an eye witness told me that this man said a prayer asking the heavenly Father to forgive him of all the bad things that he had thought, said, and done in his life, as well as forgive him for all the good things he didn't think, say, or did that he should have. Then he accepted Jesus as his savior. Why?

Because he was told about how there is a disease of the soul called sin. Sin is a lot like the cancer that killed this man. It eats at the mind making you think bad things, which makes you think, say and do bad things. When you do that it eats at you in many ways including emotionally. The only cure for this was for someone without the disease to give a blood transfusion. There was no one on earth like that , so God the Father and his son, Jesus came up with a plan for Jesus to come to earth to give his blood for the cure.

In my head the conversation in heaven may have gone a little like this...

Jesus~ "Father, I have been thinking.

God the Father~ "Really, what have you been thinking about, Son?"

Jesus~ "Well, as you know, since the first humans sinned, all of the human race now has the disease of sin in them. That means that they will not only suffer and die physically, but spiritually as well."

God the Father~ "Yes, this is true. But what can be done about it? The only cure is the blood of someone who doesn't have the disease and they all have it."

Jesus~"True, but I have been thinking. What if I were to become a human and go to earth and give my blood? Then they would have a way to cure their disease."

God the Father~"I'm not sure that I like that plan, son. It would be hard for me to watch you go through the pain of doing it."

Jesus~ "I know, but I love them, and I want to do this for them. Could I please, do this?"

God the Father~ "Well... I love them too....Ok, let us start making plans for this operation."

Jesus~" Great! Let's do it!"

And that is exactly what they did!

You see, God loved your loved one, and everyone on the earth SO MUCH that he was willing to have his son, Jesus give all his blood for the cure to sin. And anyone who is willing to pray and ask Jesus to forgive them for the bad things that they did due to the disease of sin. He will forgive them and save them from the disease of sin. (John 3:16 CTV Chaplain Toni Version). " God did not send his son into the world to judge the world. He sent He sent his son to save the world through him. Anyone who believes in him is not judged" (John 3:17 NIRV New International Reader's Version). All we have to do is pray asking him to forgive us of our sin, and cleanse us of that sin, turn from our bad living and let Jesus be the Road Captain of our life.

I believe that God the Father, Jesus, and your loved one would have wanted me to tell you this, so when your time comes, you can see them in heaven.

Comforting hugs!
Chaplain Toni.

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   If anyone want to pray the prayer I wrote about. Here is one that would work....... Dear Father God, and Jesus, I ask that you will come and cleanse me of sin. I also ask that you will come into my heart, mind, and soul and become the Road Captain of my life. Help me to follow you. In Jesus name amen

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"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us,and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith" (Heb. 12:1+2a).

In my mind, life is like a race. We are on the field running a race and those Christians who has graduated to heaven is in the grandstands cheering us on. In the time line of God's history, each generation run a link of a relay race. When a Christian dies, he or she has handed the baton off to someone else to run with and goes to sit in the grandstands to cheer for those who goes on behind them. Our dear sister, Robin has fought the fight and run the race. Now she has handed the baton off to us to run with, while she sits in the grand stands cheering us on. May we run the race with all that we have in her memory and to the glory of God. 

Comforting hugs!

Sister Toni