"Behold, I do a new thing: now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert" (Is. 43:19).
When we go through a bad time in our life such as when we loose a job, a relationship, our health or even loose someone through death, we feel as though we are in a wilderness or desert. While we are there we long for the comfort of what we had before. We may even feel as though our life had dried up and we thirst for meaning again in our lives.
People say things like, "Get over it" or "move on" or even "get back to normal". But let's be honest. You cannot go back to your old normal, for that which was in your life (a job, relationship, health, or loved) is gone. This has left a big hole where it or whom was in it before. So you must find a new normal in your life.
It is not always an easy task to find that new normal, for you often will have to redefine what your normal is. This means that you may have to recreate what you want in your life. Maybe even recreate who you are now. For you may be a nurse or whatever your job was. In an end of a relationship. You may not be so and so's wife or woman, man or husband; or even friend anymore. . You may have an illness that will change a lot in your life, wither it be for a time or forever. OR the death of someone maybe totally changing a lot in your life. Whatever the reason, your life has lost it's old normal and you need a new one.
How does one find that new normal? You may ask. Well, stop. Stand still. And pray asking God for guidance. He knows what your future should look like. Then sit down and write out a list of what has changed and what steps you need to take to move into your new normal. Start with what has to be handled immediately such as funeral arrangements if a loved one has died. Or if it is a loss of job, figure out how much money you have and food that is in the house. Figure out how far can these take you? If it is a lost relationship, you may need to find a new place to live. This list will be different for each person and situation.
Once the immediate needs are taken care of, sit down and figure out who you want to be in the future. You can do this by asking yourself questions such as...What did I enjoy doing before so and so was in my life? What did I dream of being before I had this job? What don't I like in my life? How can I change it? These questions can be what will help you move from your desert to your new life. When you have the answers, then write down the steps that you need to take to move into your new life.
If you don't know what steps you should take, find someone who can help you figure that out. Such as a life coach. lawer, doctor, a place that can tell you what you need to do to find a new job, and the list goes on.
I know that this can be scary. I've been there a few times in my life. But these steps helped me to be able to move forward in my life. And I can tell you that there can be a good life after your old one. In fact, I have been able to fulfill dormant dreams in my new life. I pray that you do too.
Comforting hugs!
Chaplain Toni
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